where women celebrate their ageless authenticity

The Space In Between

The aria’s lingering note that keeps us hanging, the lovers eyes that speak in silence, the sunset’s sigh that baths us in warmth – it’s the stillness that brings us home to ourselves.

We all need that breath of space, that in between that connects us to who we are, and yet it’s often a scary place to enter, afraid of what we might find there. Aren’t we more often than not always trying to fill it?

Count me among the guilty. Now with the window to the world at our fingertips with our phones, isn’t it more intriguing to transport ourselves to another place or take a peek at everyone else’s life rather than being fully present to our own?

Athletes are great demonstrators of the space in between, with their breath. They’re trained to take a deep inhale, exhale, right before performing the impossible; centering themselves, tapping into all the energy that they are.

In the arts, Michelangelo’s legacy of works saw what was already there in the space in between. As a subtractive sculptor, he patiently pursued a stone that spoke to him, then rather than trying to fill it with a masterpiece, he used a mallet and chisel to free a figure from the marble block.

I confess, penning this prose has been cathartic in returning me to my personal space of in between. With this IF project I spent so long living with and listening to my thoughts, and now that it’s something tangible I’ve been focusing on filling every part of it with “just what’s needed,” when my intent was to share what comes up and get curious about it as I go.

Time to pause with a deep breath so I can fully appreciate the abundance of each moment. In doing so there is space for joy to enter to fill me up.

Hand out the window carefree at the beach

Takeways:

  • The “pregnant pause” phrase dates back to the 15th Century; it is a silence full of potential in the way a pregnant body is full of a new human being. A pregnant pause leaves the listener full of anticipation, like the excitement about the forthcoming baby. Successful sales people know its value to help seal the deal. Instead of trying to fill the silence by pressuring the customer, they let it stretch out to see what happens. It gives the customer time to think and process without digging in their heels with a forced response.
  • The 90-second pause… When a person has a reaction to something alarming in their environment, (let’s say a heated “discussion” with your spouse) there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body. The chemicals flushed through your body put it on full alert.  After that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. “My Stroke of Insight” A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Harvard-trained Neuroscientist, Ph.D.
  • Taking a deep breath is one of our easiest, most convenient and natural tools to help release stress and anxiety, reduce pain and high blood pressure, and even assist in digestion. When we’re stressed or anxious, our brain releases the “stress hormone” cortisol, but with deep breaths our heart rate slows and more oxygen enters our blood stream, telling the brain to relax and “chill out.” Deep breathing also ups our endorphins, those “feel good” chemicals, like the runner’s high without doing the marathon.

Wishing you a day where you feel a brief moment of space in between it all.

Stacked rocks zen vibe